Monday, January 26, 2004

Reflections

What do you think about when you get stuck for two hours in a parked car in the middle of a snowstorm, unable to move, because every attempt to do so will slide you within millimeters of the car next to you? In my case:
1. University of Arizona has a perfectly fine law school and sociology department. If they call, I say yes.
2. If dog sledding is such a cool hobby in Wisconsin, can't they harness a few mutts and bring them around to pull innocent drivers like me out of trouble?
3. If Wisconsin is so full of tall, Nordic, hulky men, why can’t they for once be in the right place at the right time?
4. If I survive, I will immediately rewrite the post doubting the validity of the study that excluded Madison from the list of congenial places to live in [perhaps the survival thing was an over-dramatization: the parking lot where I was stuck was a mere block away from State Street, our main drag].
5. If we needed brute force to pull vehicles forward, why didn’t we just stay with the horse and carriage thing instead of creating unnecessary dependence on foreign oil?
I have to admit that eventually two very nice (if not hulky nor Nordic) men did come to my rescue. They lifted the end of the car that was spinning out of control, tut-tuting at my imbecile attempts at traction (a handful of pebbles and the branches of a desecrated nearby taxus brevifolia shrub), and positioned me in the proper direction. I was so grateful I didn't even tell them who to vote for in the forthcoming election. Probably they'll pick the tall guy, like everyone else.

Erratum

Yesterday I mentioned in the blog that Streep had stated that “steroids in baseball” is not a burning issue before the nation. She appears to wrong, and I, who agreed with her, must, therefore, be wrong as well. I stand corrected by a constituent from Cheshire CT (Is there something going on in Cheshire that maybe Streep and I don't quite have a pulse on?).

IN GOD THEY TRUST

Another reader suggestion for the list of possibly trivial (meaning – what do these have to do with governing?) presidential imperatives (post, January 23): a candidate for presidential office must have religious faith. Well, okay, I’ll add it as point number 7, but only if we qualify it: a candidate must “profess” adherence to some religious beliefs. Because, in truth, what do we know about their beliefs? It’s not like height, i.e. objectively identifiable (though not so easy in the case of Berlusconi, but let’s not go there now). And historically, isn’t it the case that Lincoln actually did not profess an affiliation to any religious faith? And that Andrew Johnson not only did not claim a religious affiliation, but in fact, never espoused anything that sounded like religion?

As to our Democrats-on-the-run, well, we do know that Dean CLAIMS he had a religious wedding, but since his wife is Jewish (the children were raised in the Jewish faith) and he says he is Christian, it appears that they were actually married before a judge. He does state that he felt it to be a religious ceremony and that religion is an internal, private things and so he can dang well call it religious if he feels like it. Sounds like a stretch, but it does meet the criterion of “professes religious faith,” even though the New Republic called him “one of the most secular candidates to run for president in modern history.”

And the others? I’ve never seen such a mixed up patchwork of religious affiliations. Gen. Wesley Clark says his father was Jewish, though he himself is a Methodist turned Baptist turned Catholic who attends a Presbyterian church. The Star Telegram says of Edwards: “Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina turned to the Bible after his 16-year-old son, Wade, died in a car accident. But Edwards has been uncomfortable talking about this, saying it's a private family matter.” Lieberman is an Orthdox Jew, the Rev. Al Sharpton is a Pentecostal minister, though he does not have a fixed parish. As for Kerry? According to NPR-- Senator John Kerry is Catholic, though he recently discovered that his paternal grandparents were Jewish. Kerry's grandfather was born Fritz Kohn in Austria in 1873. He changed his name in 1902, converted to Catholicism, and moved to Boston, where he married a woman who had also converted from Judaism to Catholicism. And Kucinich? We needn't bother -- he's too short (see post below), he wont win.

These days, it appears that religion is a must to take the South, so okay, number 7 on my list goes to professing religious faith.